I have always loved Charles Dickens’s book “A Christmas Carol”. I like the book and not the film or TV interpretations as I like to weave my own images and senses as I work my way through the book.
I think that there is some of the Scrooge in all of us, and perhaps it is not the money but rather the honesty we lack. We berate ourselves and others for conflict and not having a good time, why can’t we have out happy ending. If we were honest with ourselves we would realise that real-people are far from perfect as are we, Conflict and disagreement are part of being human, and perhaps what lets us have a merry Christmas is what we do with our disagreement. For many Christmas memories are ones of endless shouting matches, tears and tantrums, Missing people not there and empty chairs of those no longer with us.
Perhaps rather than look for the perfect Christmas is to look rather like the characters in Mr Dickens book for the best Christmas possible. Mrs Cratchett who drinks Mr Scrooge’s Health even when despising him. Scrooge himself becoming childlike with glee at surprising friends with Christmas japes, laughing at his previous self his Christmas past. Living for the moment can bring such joy.
However, real-life is not perfect and nor are we, our families or loved ones. So, it might be worth remembering that the first step to having a good time around the holiday, is to realise there may be potential conflict and that it is normal. Laughing about past Christmas events, can be a great way to break the ice or diffuse tensions if things are beginning to go downhill. Getting people to talk about the funniest or most embarrassing thing that happened last Christmas, can be a life-saver!
So if you can accept that you will not have a perfect Christmas you are far more likely to have a merry one. You will be far less stressed and more focused on enjoying the relationships around you.
Of course it will be important to remember Christmases past and perhaps some no longer with us but try to remember what they could bring rather than what they take away.
Christmas Carol is not just a moral tale about money and kindness. It is about accepting yourself and others and being honest about what we all need from each other if we are to all show ourselves the compassion that we need.