Couples come for many reasons to talk about their problems. Some of the most common examples are money worries, infidelity, children or a shift in their relationship. This is not an exhaustive list by any means, but there is usually a sense that is not well with the relationship. If there is anything approaching a single cause of relationship problems it would have to be communication. When the partners stop talking misunderstanding creeps in and very soon they have entrenched positions and are making all sorts of assumptions. Silence is never a good substitute for talking through your problems.
The first step is to help everyone to relate to each other with respect. This promotes an understanding not only of your position but of your partners and offers a real opportunity to talk about issues with an all-round view. You will be encouraged to talk about your feelings and thoughts and to really hear your partner’s thoughts and feelings almost so you can express them as well as your own.
Sometimes this involves going back to your past, how did you meet? Were there any crises in your marriage before? What journey have you taken as a couple till now? What do you think of when you think about “our relationship”? Really trying to understand how you related to each other and how you want the future to be. It is not unusual for clients to come to me who are not sure that their relationship has a future.
A counsellor by being a facilitator and a tutor who is completely outside of the situation can help. Someone who is trained in helping a couple talk about their problems and is able to help you to find a way to communicate with your partner. Your counsellor will challenge behaviours which are not helping your relationship and will support you as you make positive change in your relationship