There can be little doubt that mental illness puts strain on relationships. Often it produces a crisis that the partners have to find a way of working through at the worst time in their lives. It may be that the first reaction is denial to try to continue as normal and ignore the ‘elephant in the room’. There is almost a collective hope that this is not true and that it will go away by itself.
This approach can of course be very isolation both in relationships, for the sufferer and their partner. The sufferer can feel more anxious rejected, perhaps even as though they are making a fuss over nothing, in other word they are not getting the support that they need to feel better. Conversely their partner has very little information and nature as they say abhors a vacuum so they imagine what might be wrong and fear the worst. This can make them anxious even ill. It all sets up a very resentful, devise atmosphere where it becomes difficult to talk open and honestly.
The key to surviving this difficult time is to look for support in yourselves in family and friends and if needed professionally.
Perhaps the simplest step you can take is to be honest with each other about how it makes you feel and talk about what is happening. What are doctors saying, how have you felt during your day. Take time to do things that relax you both as individuals and as a couple and recognise the importance of that decompression space in your recovery can help all relationships. We think nothing of giving a person with a physical injury convalescing time so why not a mental illness, we think that carers should have respite care so why those helping support those with mental health issues.
Finding out information about the condition can help and lead you to resources and support groups that can offer help both in a practical and an emotional way that again can make the difference. You will be surprised just how comforting it is to realise that others are experiencing the same feelings and thoughts as you are, however dark you might think they are.
Look for support though friends, family, your doctor or a counsellor to gain control of your life. Sometimes that will be about challenging and changing some of the thoughts and feelings that you have sometimes that will be about making changes in your life. Often we think it is just the person with the illness who need go to therapy, but it is not unusual for couples to go to therapy if the illness is changing their relationship.
In conclusion, relationships do and can survive mental illness, it happens every day. Indeed relationships can be key elements in helping a partner recover from mental illness. The important parts are self-care, understanding that you are not alone and that it is okay to ask for help