Some of the most viewed articles are on relationships and the associated problems. Many of our articles talk about the steps that you can take to repair or fix “my relationship”. Simple steps like communicating more, sharing more and respecting each other. Yet a question that I am asked repeatedly belongs before we get to any saving of a relationship.
“How do you know if the relationship is worth saving?”
It’s easy to see how you might have arrived at this question. Perhaps there have been problems for years, or a single act of infidelity that makes you question commitment. Perhaps you have tried several times to save your relationship with little success finding yourself back at the start as it were. It is entirely normal to ask yourself if you have the energy to go through the process again.
One of the first places that you can look for an answer is in the question “What attracted you to your partner in the first place?” What was that spark, is it still there is there a reason to stay together, can you see a set of circumstances that would return you to a point where you would enjoy your relationship again.
It takes two to tango, or so the old cliché goes and it is important here, because not only do you have to want to fix your relationship but your partner has to want that too. If you embark on a reconciliation programme that only one partner is committed to you will quickly see the cracks start to appear. It is perhaps important that your partner has a reason to stay together too.
Of course conflict and disagreement are all part of a healthy relationship, but it is part not the whole so are there reasons to stay together in the nice bits of the relationship. It is possible to rescue very broken relationships, sometimes the couple on their own can do it, sometimes a counsellor will help.
It is hard work, however, using he reasons to stay together most couples can find a way to rekindle their relationship and enjoy a good future together.