Many couples in the current economic climate find their relationship under more pressure than ever. Indeed for many it is the straw that breaks the camel’s back. For many they turn to marriage or relationship therapy in the hope that it will rescue their relationship and they can be happy once again.
However, most couples want to know does couples therapy work so in this article we will look at what it offers. Probably the key thing that couples therapy offers you space. A time that is set aside and an environment structured for you to talk to your partner about your relationship. Many find this intimidating at first because it may be some time since they felt that they could be vulnerable with their partner, perhaps worried at the criticism or hurt that might follow. Yet it is only by exploring these difficult feelings that we can hope to resolve the underlying issues. There are no quick and easy fixes; it will require both partners to change and work in their relationship.
Counselling helps in that it offers alternative views of your relationship. The counsellor through the process can have a more objective view. They help to stop the searching for the guilty and move your frame of reference to one of this is a problem how we resolve it. Notice that that resolution could be that we split up, it is not a given that every relationship can be saved.
Counselling helps you to change unhelpful behaviours (either individually or as a couple) to ones that are more positive more nurturing of the relationship. Examples are: changing communication habits, or changing drinking habits or joint communication with in-laws. It also offers an opportunity to change behaviours such as what do we do after an affair.
Counselling helps you to communicate with each other. Partners can get the emotional relationship out and not be hidden behind a curtain of fear (of your partner). It helps you to find that connection to your partner that you had in the first place and to see how they have changed over time.
Overall the thrust of counselling is to strengthen the relationship, to deal with immediate issues and to offer a framework for the couple to be able to deal with issues in future without the counsellor.