Fine is a four-letter word to avoid in our relationships
Fine is a four-letter word we reach for when we are asked about our feelings. It’s our go to reply: “How are you feeling today”, “How are you after battling through traffic to get home tonight”, “How do you feel about being the but of the joke again?”. Often it seems that fine is a four-letter work that is used to mask our feelings rather than express them.
Why do we use this mask and shorthand for our feelings. We might be worried about being vulnerable with our real feelings, we might be afraid of conflict if we were to tell the truth, perhaps there is guilt because you feel that you can’t say you feel bad in comparison to others.
Yet in taking this step back from our real feelings we make it difficult for those around us to connect. Often, we find that the world is hidden in such filters and facades with genuine connections hard to find. Yet for true relationships and friendships to flourish authenticity is the foundation stone on which we build.
Beyond fine as a four-letter word: Embracing your vulnerability
Expressing your real feelings asks real courage and vulnerability of us. It means allowing ourself to be seen and heard without filters, even when that is uncomfortable. It can be sharing the highs in our life, our anxieties, our insecurities. Yet, that vulnerability is the key that delivers the authentic connection within our relationships.
In being vulnerable and expressing your feelings, you ask of others, indeed invite them to do the same, and perhaps they will steer from fine, and foster deeper connections through honest connection.
The value of empathy
Empathy is a connection with the other’s emotional state, validating their experience and offering support without judgement. In deep relationships empathy reigns supreme. Through empathy you create a safe space for them (and you) to express feelings authentically. This strengthens the bonds of the relationship in a way that the four letter Fine never can.
The four letter word Fine does not promote mutual understanding in relationships
Genuine relationships have mutual understanding and acceptance at their heart. Expressing your feelings as Fine, rarely offers insight into how you are or where you are in the relationship. Connection is about appreciating partners, friends even colleagues inviting them to reciprocate and deepen the connection and creating a sense of connection with you.
Conclusion
In a world where we mask our real feelings, where we can be superficial and offer pretence to others, being vulnerable and authentic in relationships is a rare gem. In trying to embrace vulnerability and being genuine and not hiding behind throw away phrases such as “fine” you pave the way for genuine connection. These are built on trust, empathy and authenticity. Ultimately avoiding the four-letter word will nurture meaningful lasting relationships.