Christmas is coming,
The goose is getting fat,
Who’s not prepared,
To be part of that!
There is a certain social expectation of society, to be happy to be joyful to be merry and bright during the festive season. Yet, what if you are not, what if you are depressed, what if you are lonely, what if it brings back unhappy memories or indeed you just don’t like Christmas, how do you survive?
Christmas can be a challenging time for anyone, but especially so for someone who may be experiencing a mental illness. The inability to be able to join in seems to amplify a sense of isolation, large groups can cause anxiety especially if there are underlying family tensions.
Some of the key coping strategies are
Have a plan and stick to it. That not only includes what you might attend but includes how you might handle difficult situations. See how you can assert your own needs. Understand that it is okay to say you are not attending an event, “I’m sorry I’m not feeling up to it this year, but I hope you have a good time”
You should also enlist people you trust, your counsellor, family and friends you trust; talk to them about your concerns. They will be able to offer perspective and may be able to deflect some of the unhelpful thoughts. They may be a good sounding board for practising conversations that you are anxious about.
It can be all too easy to hide yourself away, yet its important to look after yourself, remember to keep taking a little exercise and eat as healthily as you can. Remember that you are important and being as health as possible helps you fight the illness.
Remember that all of the parties, the family festivities are optional you can say no. There is no doubt that you can come under a lot of peer pressure to come to the party when you don’t want to . If you don’t want to go don’t accept. Politely decline and if that has no effect when said a few times, you may need to assert yourself. Say something like “I feel that you want to force me to come to the party, I don’t want to fall out but I have said no”, and no more. This lets the person know very clearly that you have made your decision and that further persuasion is unwelcome. Remember it is your life and there is little point in putting yourself in a position that will exacerbate your difficult feelings. After all; parties are supposed to be enjoyable.
All of that being said; it may be that you want to go to the event. You can agree to go for a short while to show face. Again planning is the key, so book your taxi for when you want to leave and be firm.
Finally, taking care of yourself means looking after your own needs first go to the events you want to. Say no to those that will make you feel unwell.