Finding the perfect relationship might be thought of as a mind-set. A couple that accepts the relationship between partners with all its imperfections. If we look at a relationship that is working well we will usually see two people that support each other, can compromise and can work together.
What are the principles of a good relationship?
In any relationship there are key values, principles, that we all hope to find in our partners. 
We want to be able to depend upon them and their support. We might expect them to respect us and our thoughts and opinions, even when they are different from our own. We look for honesty and it all builds to a sense of trust in the relationship. Trust is perhaps the part of our relationship that is the rock to which we anchor ourselves in the uncertain seas of life. Keeping this relationship strong doesn’t happen by accident like so many things in life it takes effort. Communication between the partners is the key.
Effective communication
Many articles will talk about communication but essentially it might be boiled down to four essential elements:
- Speaking honestly about your thoughts and feelings
- Listening openly and attentively to what your partner is saying
- Being open to changing
- Giving yourselves the time and space to do 1 to 3
Each of these elements has an important place in any relationship. There will be times when things are not going well. When this happens it is easy to fall into the trap of sniping, picking fault or sulking rather than speaking honestly about the problem. Realising that making mistakes is part of being human. That listening how they impacted on your partner is a good way to start to repair the fracture in the relationship.
Overcoming mistakes
Of course not every mistake will be able to be repaired. Some will damage the values that were highlighted above (honesty, trust and respect) to such an extent that one or both partners will find it impossible to maintain the relationship. Yet as many counsellors will tell you it is surprising how a relationship can be saved by real meaningful attentive communication. This is the case even when the problem or issue seems catastrophic.
The perfect relationship?
Many of us aspire to the perfect loving relationship. Yet perhaps we can say that other than fleetingly the perfect relationship does not exist. What we find is that the relationship we crave has some principles that many aspire to. That longevity of the relationship is not finding the perfect starting point but rather in the maintenance of those principles using the tools of communication.
We have to recognise that our relationships will need work and sometime that might be between partners and sometimes that might be with outside help. But neither is a bad thing because the principle is about having a great relationship and being able to accept the relationship with your partner with all its imperfections.
If you think that your relationship might need help why not consider a session with a counsellor