It seems that in today’s society that more and more people are ruled by negative thinking. Perhaps you yourself find that your mind strays to what you have not done rather than what you have achieved. If you believe that you are going to fail then you are undermining your chances of success. It’s strange but often our fear of failure holds us back from the things that would help us most.
Claire wanted to join the local aerobics session in her community hall, she was doing well with her weight loss programme, but had decided that exercise would help. She found the number, but put off calling it. Negative thoughts had begun to get into her head. What if they are all much better than me, what if I hold them back and they begin to laugh me. Till she got to a stage that fear of rejection and failure prevented her from calling.
It is often said that when on our deathbeds, we tend to regret the things that we didn’t do, more than the things that we did. We had a try and sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn’t. Often the hardest part was to actually act to go and participate. Almost every decision to participate starts with the determination to try.
So how do you change? How do you become more positive?
A good first step is to acknowledge those things that you have achieved. They could be quite small: I got to work on time today and they could be much larger, but the point is to say well done to yourself for your successes.
Try to start framing your goals, needs and desires in positive language. Not I’ll try to stop smoking, say; I am going to be a non-smoker. By framing it in a positive way you are reminding yourself that you can achieve, not that you might fail.
Try to visualise the positive things that this activity or change will make to your life, what are you looking forward to, how will it feel when you are successful.
A word of warning that as you change or try things differently you might find that you slip back to old habits. That’s okay, pick yourself up, change the negative words into positive and try again.
Of course because change is difficult many people find that support makes all the difference so if you have a friend or a family member or even a counsellor, it can be easier to change. You could even co-support a friend as they make a change, the important thing is not to be held back by the fear of failure, but rather get out and enjoy the things that you want to try.