In a recent survey over 75% of couples said that they were in or had considered relationship counselling. Perhaps that is a reflection on today’s pressures on couples with childcare, work, financial commitments etc. Perhaps it is no wonder that relationships are under increasing pressure. So does relationship counselling work?
It is perhaps worth taking a few moments to understand what relationship counselling is and more importantly is not. It is not a court the counsellor is not there to judge whether you acted badly or reasonably. They are not there to apportion blame. Nor are there any guarantees entering relationship counselling will restore your relationship. The core of counselling is to develop a dialogue between you and your partner where you can talk about problems and come to a solution that works for both parties.
This is simple to say but rather harder to put into practice. There will be a history of the relationship and perhaps some of those events are hard to let go, or difficult to forgive. Perhaps they changed your view of your partner. Relationship counselling seeks to put a framework in place, one which allows for honest open dialogue to work through those previous problems and put them in the past so that you can concentrate on the future. Remember just because you have forgiven someone does not mean that you forget it ever happened. Of course you will want to build that experience into your future lives. The difficulty comes when it is always there when it is a barrier to good communication.
So what does counselling do for your relationship. It creates a safe space for you to discuss your problems honestly and openly. Your counsellor will not only offer that space but will offer a third party observer who has no axe to grind, who is neutral.
So if you feel your relationship needs help perhaps you should consider relationship counselling. While you may be one of the minorities who feel that they will not benefit from it, is it not worth trying to improve your relationship.