Today we celebrate Roald Dahl day, today would have been his 95th birthday. He once said that: “A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”
Dahl, doesn’t say what the person with the wonky nose and crooked mouth thinks of themselves, but I like to think that since their good thoughts shine through that they have a positive self-image. Many of us have almost the opposite view, that is to say we present a good image but on the inside we feel wonky and crooked.
So what is self-image? Self image is many things; it is how we see ourselves in our head, but more than just our physical characteristics. Our self-image would also include our character and its traits good and bad. Many people only see the bad and dwell on them and this can become a liability to good emotional health.
Self-image develops as we grow, early on we will be effected by our families, but as we age others around us influence how we feel. Of course our own experiences and feelings play a big part too. We can get a distorted view if we focus too much on our weaknesses and faults. If we begin to believe that we are bad or useless or worthless our self-belief can be undermined leading to problems as we engage with those around us.
Our image is important because it affects the way we deal with life’s ups and downs. If we have a positive self-image we are better able to smooth out the ride. The good news is that we do not have a fixed self-image, because it develops from our experiences, thoughts and feelings we can iron out any distortions we can change it for the better.
There are some positive steps that you can take
Try to accept yourself. You have faults, sure, but you also have strengths things that you are good at try to celebrate your successes each day. If you identify something that you dislike then you can change it, set a goal and work to achieve it. A word of warning though, when you start, take really small goals that are easy to achieve, just till you get the hang of the process. It will also help you to be successful.
Many people compare themselves to others, yet when they sit down and think about it they realise that they are using far higher standards when judging themselves. If you must compare yourself, compare with yourself so that you can see the great changes you are making. If you are continually comparing yourself it would suggest that you are having trouble accepting yourself.
Try to laugh and enjoy life, do the things that make you feel good about yourself – even if only for a short time, it shows that you value yourself and think you are worth bothering about and you are.
If you find yourself thinking about yourself negatively try to stand back and ask, is that really true am I being fair to myself? Often we get so use to running ourselves down that it becomes a habit and one that we should break.
In summary, self-image is not fixed, it is changing, dynamic and we can develop a positive more accurate self-image that allows the real, worthwhile you shine out just like the sunbeams.