There are times when we all lack confidence, perhaps when trying something new, or giving a public presentation. Yet some people have a more chronic problem having lost all self-confindence and beliving that they can’t achieve anything. Perhaps you have noticed this in yourself. For example do you find yourself constantly apologising either for your mistakes or more worryingly, yourself. Fortunately there are things that can be done to imporve your self-confidence and take back a bit of control. The process is straight forward but does need a little courage and time to work. So if you try and fail a few times, trust the process and get back on the horse. This might be the time you suceed.Perhaps bizzarly we can feel more confident if we just act that way. Try to avoid negative thoughts just do it. Consider Ellen MacArthur she had to climb an 100ft mast in a storm in the Southern Atlantice to make repairs. “It was VERY frightening” she tells us, yet she fell back on her slogan: “a donf “- just do it. You will surprise yourself at what you can do and the euphuria when you achieve it. Don’t allow others to make you feel inferior, speak positively about yourself and walk with your head high.
Sometimes we can expect to much from ourselves, we can be very self critical because we have not got it perfect. So often we look at what we haven’t achieved rather than what we have. You need to accept that past mistakes are water under the bridge you can’t change what has happened so accept it and move on using that information to improve next time. You need to be kind to yourself, celebrate your successes however small, everyone has had some success in their lives.
We all have insecurities, so you should accept them and moce on. You may have regrets about your past or something you don’t like about yourself. Most of these you will not be able to change yet they are holding you back. If you can’t accept them maybe you need to talk to a counsellor about them so that you can move on.
Acceptance is about understanding yourself – it is not about saying that a loss is okay, or that you shouldn’t have felt embarrased and so on. It is about accepting that that happened and that is part of your experience or indeed your personality and not having to do anything with it just accepting that it is there. Sometimes accepting an unpleasant part of you can help you move on, for example if you notice that you are quick to anger and often regret your outbursts, that can help you to be in control the next time you start to become annoyed.
So as the philosopher William James said,”The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook”. So become wise about yourself. Accept those parts of you that you would rather not have happened and move forward using them to become a stronger more confident you.