New Year (Part 1)
New Year and the associated resolutions will soon be upon us. Surprisingly perhaps the best time to make your New Year resolutions is in November because you need some time to prepare for change, get things ready and set yourself up for success on those things you want to focus your resolve.
Resolutions tend to fall in one of 3 categories.
1. Stopping a behaviour. Perhaps you intend to give up smoking or lose weight or even to stop shouting at the kids.
2. You’d like to improve something about a relationship with someone else.
3. Starting a behaviour. Perhaps you want to start an exercise class or a craft skill. Perhaps you’d like to learn something new.
4. You’d like to improve something about yourself. “I’d like to be better dressed – I’d like to change career
The first of these two are fraught with difficulties. The first may have much more success if it is less about reminding you of the behaviour you want to stop and more about the behaviour that you want to achieve. Thus “ I want to stop smoking” becomes “I want to become a non-smoker”
The second relies on another person, someone that you have no control over, so a better goal might be about changing how you in the relationship. Thus “I want Steve and I to fight less” becomes “I will take more time to understand how Steve feels before I speak”.
You should write down the resolution and in our next post we will look at how to set up your goals.