Wondering if you should save your relationship? Are there moments when you would pack your bags and leave and others where you long to go back to simpler times when you knew each other? You are not unusual and many people before you have struggled with problems in their relationship and don’t know what to do to save it. It seems that things are going from bad to worse and there is nothing you can to save your relationship.

Saving your relationshipSave your relationship

If you have that sense of dread, that feeling in the pit of your stomach them perhaps it is time to take action and reflect what can be done to save your relationship.  It will take hard work and working together, yet if you work at loving each other perhaps you can get back to that loving relationship.

Perhaps it is worth taking some time to think about some of the key things that you need to tackle. Especially if it is all going to fall into place and you are going to save your relationship.

Do you want to save your relationship? It might seem a strange question given the title of the post and your interest in the article but be realistic. Can the problems be overcome? Are you and your partner willing to put in the work both willing to change to save the relationship?

Think about what is not working in your relationship. Often it will be the way that you are communicating with each other. It may be expressed as you never listen or you don’t help round the house or with the children. Often though, these show that partners do not see or acknowledge the other’s needs. Remember that the hardest bit of communicating in any relationship is listening. The rules for good communication are simple:

  • Pick a time when you can both be fully present (not when other things are happening)
  • Talk about one subject at a time
  • Listen, then repeat and ask questions to check you have understood
  • Suggest rather than dictate
  • Explain how you feel, think or what to do – not what your partner should do.
  • Do not interrupt and take turns
  • If it gets heated take a break.

When thinking of how to save your relationship work with your partner to come up with a few things that you can try to do different that will make you feel better. Talk about progress and talk about the setbacks. This is the area that people often find that relationship counselling can make a huge difference in as there is a neutral space to agree and discuss the way forward.

Learn to forgive, remember that to save your relationship is going to take time and effort. That means that both of you will make mistakes and might fall into old patterns. The real win is recovering from those and getting back on track through effective communication. That is about forgiving each other when things go wrong and getting back with the program.