When you know someone who has depression, you want to be there to support them. You want to help them fight it. Yet for many people they will be unsure how to best offer that support. You are in a unique position to help them and allow them to feel better.
What is depression?
It is worth taking a moment to understand that depression is more than just sadness. It is a serious condition which drains the self-worth, motivation and self-belief of a person. Suffers will withdraw and often push loved ones away saying hurtful or upsetting things.
The condition needs treatment to recover from and that is usually best accessed through the person’s doctor. While you can listen and give your time and support on its own that might not be enough. Help the person to access treatment, perhaps you could offer to go along with them or call them after they have been for their appointment.
Practical help
Probably the single greatest thing you can do to help someone with depression is to talk to them and listen to how they are feeling. Many people shy away from talking about mental illness in general, yet it really is no different than talking about a broken leg or the common cold. The listening is almost the more important part giving them the chance to explore and sort through their thoughts and feelings. Remember what you say can have a powerful impact. While it is okay to challenge unhelpful thoughts, don’t criticise them. It can also seem helpful to make suggestions on how to solve problems or give advice. This may not be helpful as the subtext to such a suggestion is that “you are incapable of helping yourself” a more helpful question would be “is there anything I can do to make a difference?”
An extension of this listening process is to keep in touch. While you may stay with the person you are supporting it may be that it is a friend who lives on their own or across town. Remembering to call regularly really can make a huge difference in making sure that they do not withdraw from friends and family. Encouraging them to come to activities is a really great way to help as it also offers a sense of achievement to counter the negative view that depression offers. Depression is an illness that makes it hard to recover. You feel listless and that any action you take will not work. Having support from the outside counters this feeling.
Learning more about depression and its treatment can help you in supporting someone with depression. Organisations like SAMH and Depression Alliance have great resources and using them can help you as well as the person you support.
Finally it may be that the person may benefit from therapeutic counselling. It is one of many treatments that are effective on depression and many people find that it is a good way to get their life back on track.