Many articles on depression focus on the thinking process. It shows you how to challenge unhelpful or damaging thoughts and how to replace them with a new thought process that is more compassionate to your care. Yet there is no getting away from the fact that depression is a mood disorder and has a big emotional content. How do you deal with the emotional part of your depression?
Depression is a condition that isolates us. Often not only do we feel alone but we feel we are alone in experiencing these feelings and thoughts. Yet the reality is somewhat different, while studies vary around 1 in 5 people will suffer depression at some point in their lives and often need the help of their doctor or a counsellor to come to terms with the symptoms to recover. The reality is that if you are suffering from depression you have a common condition, just one which people talk about less.
The emotional response
Jane had always been a high flyer at work. A recent downturn in the industry had meant redundancy and she had struggled to get another job. She had become depressed believing she would never work again and that there was no point in even applying.
Part of the isolation that depression brings changes the way we see the world. We begin to see the world as a more threatening place. We have less or even no confidence in our ability to deal with the threat that it poses. So it was with Jane, she was very self-assured in her job. But as depression hit, that left to be replaced by self-doubt and a questioning in her ability. She had a very emotional response to the situation. This is typical as we often overestimate the threat, perhaps making the possible consequences more severe or more likely that they are. Thus Jane believes that she would never work again. This lowering of the self-belief can mean that we can’t be realistic about our ability to deal with the threat even that we create self-fulfilling prophecies.
Often this feeling that we just cannot cope makes us want to withdraw from social situations, from friends indeed from life. This might be physically or mentally removing oneself. Often suffers will tranquilize feelings perhaps with drugs or alcohol. It just seems easier to keep life at arm’s length.
Coping mechanisms
A small part of ourselves knows that we have to face up to the reality to feel better. One might think of facing the school bully, you might hide or you may lie down to the bullying but if you want it to stop it you know you are going to have to do something to make things change. That thought is frightening prospect. So it is when depression is bullying you from enjoying your life.
Understanding what is driving your emotion response can help. Understanding the fear that is driving your anxiety can let you look for the small amounts of control that you do have. If you are angry do you feel attacked or are your personal values being attacked. Information is power, knowing what is driving your emotional response lets you take action. Ultimately you can always choose your reaction to a situation. Try to keep your focus in the present. What ifs for the future and the past are only likely to torture and torment your emotional response.
Jane realised that her sadness was in part about the loss of the job that she loved and the social environment her sales job had offered. She was angry at the company for not recognising her skills. As she became more aware of the source of these emotions she was able to put the responsibility for the changes in her life in their proper perspective. She began to regain her self-worth and was able to move forward.
Perhaps you will be able to make these connections for yourself. People find that they need another perspective to get started. Perhaps writing their thoughts in a journal or speaking to a trusted friend can help them better explore their emotions. You may want to read some other articles on depression which talk about controlling your thought process and living with depression. You may feel like Jane that a counsellor is the way to explore the situation and get the help you need to bring your thoughts back to a more normal process and away from your depression.
Whatever path you choose, why not start today, after all by taking control you can make such a difference.