Asking ourself the basic question: Can counselling work for me?
Expressed simply counselling is about a therapeutic relationship between a trained professional counsellor and a client. So how will I know if counselling will work for me. The counselling session offers a space which is free of the daily judgements and anxieties that we fear when talking about ourselves to others. The counsellor is not there to offer advice, give solutions but rather helps the client to clarify issues to explore options and develop the strategies that help self-belief, awareness and confidence as you move forward.
These strategies help you to feel confident in dealing with issues in your life as they arise such as anxiety, stress, relationship issues, feeling overwhelmed etc.
Who can private counselling help
Counselling is a talking therapy focusing on ourselves, our emotions and what we would like to change in our life. It works well with clients and people who are ready and want to explore and make changes in their lives.
This can be an uncomfortable process as you reveal parts of yourself and past actions that are difficult or make you feel vulnerable. This is made an easier process with a counsellor when they offer that safe confidential, non-judgemental space, so that you can explore those difficult emotions.
When setting out on your counselling journey it is important to notice that there are no simple and quick fixes. It is unlikely that counselling will resolve your issues in a couple of sessions. It is important to talk to your counsellor about your expectations. Good counsellors will ask what you want from counselling.
Who would get less benefit from private counselling
Counselling can help with many of our mental health and psychological problems, yet often clients come to counselling believing that it can offer relief where it is unable to help.
Coming to counselling to change someone else in your life (a spouse, the family, a friends). While counselling is all about changing ourself, changing someone else through your therapy is unlikely to happen. Therapy can however, help you be more assertive in a relationship, be better at asking for what you need, help you to have more self-esteem or self-worth. So be clear about what counselling might offer, when you ask can counselling work for me.
Counsellors do not have simple answers or guides that they can offer you so it is also important to notice that the process is about listening to your problems, your emotional state and noticing what you feel able to do to change. This might include looking at how you can feel more confident or less anxious, more assertive or more motivated to change. The difference will be unique to you and your life.
How can counselling work for me
So, when we ask ourselves can counselling work for me there are a number of things to consider:
Talking with our friends and family can help. Yet there can be problems with this approach. Many people do not have a good relationship and so would not feel able to open up. Even where there is a strong relationship most of us hold back for fear of judgement, of hurting our loved one or the long-term impact on the relationship.
Talking with a counsellor is different. They are specifically trained to listen and understand your point of view. They are not there to judge you. They will not tell you what is right or wrong and they will accept you for who you are in your life and the situation you find yourself.
Working with the counsellor, gives you a place where you can bring out those thoughts and feelings that are stuck. You can reflect on them, process them at your own pace and be more accepting of them and yourself.
As you work with your counsellor you will have more insight into yourself, and valuable insight into your thoughts and feelings. Through this you will feel more in control of areas of your life that previously lead to problems in your relationship with yourself, others, anxiety, stress, depression etc.
We offer counselling both on-line and face to face, and have experience in treating a range of conditions.