If you are one of the many couples each year who find themselves with relationship problems, you may have considered if counselling can help you. Can counselling make a difference in your relationship? How can talking to a stranger about your relationship make a difference? There is no simple answer to these questions. Counselling is a process, and like many processes change happens by degrees and in proportion to the effort and care applied. However, when counselling is used effectively, repeatedly it has been shown to have a positive outcome. So what changes might you expect counselling to deliver? Continue reading
Conflict – A common problem
Do you run from conflict? Would you rather put up with almost anything than risk a disagreement and argument? Then perhaps you are one of the many who are not confident with conflict. Faced with conflict we take to flight, we hide from the feelings that are bound to follow a confrontation. Continue reading
Feelings, express them, repress them, shout them or smother them, but we all have them. How we express our feelings can make a big difference to how we relate to others and to how well our relationships work. If we can express feelings in a way that connects us to friends and family then they strengthen the bonds between us. Sharing feelings are a big part of how we cope with and get through events and situations. When we have negative feelings and we repress them they can fester ready to explode out and cause problems later on. Continue reading
When talking about listening skills, the well-known speaker and author Stephen R. Covey once said, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” This will match many people’s experience of listening skills where they feel misunderstood and find themselves defending a position rather than discussing or gaining deeper insight.
Why are listening skills so useful?
Listening at any time is important Continue reading
Bullying it seems is happening in workplaces up and down the country. In the UK workforce as many as 70% of us report being bullied or harassed by our boss, supervisor or a colleague at some point in our career.
Our clients tell us about the impact that this can have on their lives both in and out of work. Continue reading
Many couples come to relationship counselling talking about conflict. While the conflicts may be about important issues, a problem of equal value is often the way that the issue is discussed. In fact talking about the issue is an issue!
Perhaps one of the best skills that any couple can have is a way to deal with conflict, a set of principles or rules by which they can discuss their relationship issues that keep them respectful of each other and on track for finding a solution that they can both accept.
Some of the very basics are important. Know what you are arguing about. Continue reading
The relationship tale
Perhaps many in a relationship have dreamt of the fairy tale marriage or of living happily ever after. I am reminded of G.K. Chesterton’s words:” Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten”. While I am not sure he had the relationship in mind when he spoke, his words have a lesson for us all. Continue reading