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Confident conflict

Conflict – A common problem

Do you run from conflict? Would you rather put up with almost anything than risk a disagreement and argument? Then perhaps you are one of the many who are not confident with conflict. Faced with conflict we take to flight, we hide from the feelings that are bound to follow a confrontation. Continue reading

Talking about feelings

Feelings, express them, repress them, shout them or smother them, but we all have them. How we express our feelings can make a big difference to how we relate to others and to how well our relationships work.  If we can express feelings in a way that connects us to friends and family then they strengthen the bonds between us. Sharing feelings are a big part of how we cope with and get through events and situations. When we have negative feelings and we repress them they can fester ready to explode out and cause problems later on. Continue reading

Good listening skills

When talking about listening skills, the well-known speaker and author Stephen R. Covey once said, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” This will match many people’s experience of listening skills where they feel misunderstood and find themselves defending a position rather than discussing or gaining deeper insight.

Why are listening skills so useful?

Listening at any time is important Continue reading

Bullying in the workplace

Bullying it seems is happening in workplaces up and down the country. In the UK workforce as many as 70% of us report being bullied or harassed by our boss, supervisor or a colleague at some point in our career.

Our clients tell us about the impact that this can have on their lives both in and out of work. Continue reading

How to fight your partner

Many couples come to relationship counselling talking about conflict. While the conflicts may be about important issues, a problem of equal value is often the way that the issue is discussed.  In fact talking about the issue is an issue!

Perhaps one of the best skills that any couple can have is a way to deal with conflict, a set of principles or rules by which they can discuss their relationship issues that keep them respectful of each other and on track for finding a solution that they can both accept.

Some of the very basics are important. Know what you are arguing about.  Continue reading

A relationship fairy tale

The relationship tale

Perhaps many in a relationship have dreamt of the fairy tale marriage or of living happily ever after. I am reminded of G.K. Chesterton’s words:” Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten”. While I am not sure he had the relationship in mind when he spoke, his words have a lesson for us all. Continue reading

Finding the perfect relationship

Finding the perfect relationship might be thought of as a mind-set. A couple that accepts the relationship between partners with all its imperfections. If we look at a relationship that is working well we will usually see two people that support each other, can compromise and can work together.

What are the principles of a good relationship?

In any relationship there are key values, principles, that we all hope to find in our partners. Continue reading

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