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Stress and Anxiety what’s your plan?

Stress and Anxiety

Anxiety and stress are perhaps the most common complaint in the UK today. Anxiety is driven by emotion, worried thoughts and tensions, often accompanied by unwanted physical symptoms. Sufferers of anxiety will be familiar with the intrusive thoughts and concerns. They seem to break into every waking moment and often prevent us from getting to sleep at night.  The condition literally changes lives and we can find ourselves avoiding situations, people and places because of our anxieties and fears of what might happen. Continue reading

What is love anyway?

Couples often are faced with this question about love when they enter relationship therapy. It is like there is a tilt in the axis of their world. They are suddenly unsure if their partner really loves them. They are treating them in a way that feels at odds with their concept of love.
When we first meet of course we don’t engage in the heady world of philosophy. We don’t ponder motivations or contemplate the meaning of actions. We enjoy the feeling of being cared for wholly and completely.
It is tempting, perhaps even probable that we will grow up with an idealised for of love – the Disney version. Continue reading

Self-esteem can you empower it?

Self-esteem is a difficult thing to define exactly, but a working definition might be the value or the confidence we have in ourselves. Studies have shown that low self-esteem is a learned behaviour.  Often we will take on false beliefs about ourselves and treat them as if they are true. We may get a new outfit and meet one of our friends for lunch and they say, “That’s new and very bold” which we hear as a judgement. We falsely believe that we have made too bold (an unwise) choice. Continue reading

Critical voice – Whistle a happy tune

We all have those critical voices in our head from time to time chastising us or enumerating our wrongs. Perhaps we long for a Disney conscience like Jiminy Cricket, but the reality is that we are much harder on ourselves than any cartoon character. For many of us the thoughts in our head are helpful they provide a conscience and help us to hold to our principles and values. Yet if you are at a low point in your life or under attack when that voice becomes a critical voice it can take on a more self-destructive air. Continue reading

Boosting our self-esteem

There are days when nothing seems to go right and the world seems to delight in picking on us. Nothing we do seem to go right; our luck just doesn’t seem in. We begin to question what on earth could be going wrong. Questioning our judgement and potentially losing self-belief. Slowly and surely our self-belief begins to suffer.

Self-esteem might be defined as our belief in our ability, our character, to handle problems that we face.  This is so central to our sense of self that if it is badly knocked we can begin to question ourselves. We can become very self-critical, running ourselves down. We can become very adept at doing this even when there is no evidence, no facts, we base our judgement on what others might think.  The question must be can you improve your self-esteem? Continue reading

Mental illness – to say or not to say

At any time in the UK 1 in 4 will experience mental health problems in a year.  8 to 12% of the population experience depression, the UK has one of the highest rates of self-harm in Europe. Around 40% of people report stress related illness as a result of their work.

Given all of these problems that we face in the UK why do we still find it so difficult to talk about mental illness and why are we so afraid to admit to having mental health problems. Certainly the statistics are not on your side Continue reading

The stress of mental illness

Stress can have a huge effect on our lives, yet the cause can start in a simple way. Perhaps we feel an increase of pressure at work to get a project done, perhaps changes at home mean we have more to do and less time to do it. Perhaps relationship problems are around and are being made worse because you are stressed and anxious about a solution.  Stress can make a difference to how you view the world, what you feel you can achieve and can cause physical as well as psychological changes. Continue reading

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