Sometimes no matter what is said or what you try the relationship comes to an end. It may have been your choice to end the relationship; it may have been your partner’s. Yet however, you arrived the reality of the loss of your relationship and it is that you have to face and accept.
So do you pull on your pyjamas and head for the fridge and a tub of Ben and Jerry’s finest? What is the best way to deal with the end of a relationship?
Notice that you will have difficult mixed feelings. You are ending a relationship that you built up over months and years. While there may be many feelings and actions, you are angry and upset about, there will be moments of fondness for the good times you spent together. Perhaps you will even miss certain shared rituals and moments. Continue reading
Couples often are faced with this question about love when they enter relationship therapy. It is like there is a tilt in the axis of their world. They are suddenly unsure if their partner really loves them. They are treating them in a way that feels at odds with their concept of love.
When we first meet of course we don’t engage in the heady world of philosophy. We don’t ponder motivations or contemplate the meaning of actions. We enjoy the feeling of being cared for wholly and completely.
It is tempting, perhaps even probable that we will grow up with an idealised for of love – the Disney version. Continue reading
Grief, loss and bereavement are a near universal experience. While this is true, It is perhaps thrown in sharp contrast by the reality that grief, loss and bereavement are all experienced in a unique and personal way. While when thinking about bereavement we naturally think of the loss of a loved one, any loss for example of a job or of a marriage can bring about grief and loss in us. Continue reading
If you are one of the many couples each year who find themselves with relationship problems, you may have considered if counselling can help you. Can counselling make a difference in your relationship? How can talking to a stranger about your relationship make a difference? There is no simple answer to these questions. Counselling is a process, and like many processes change happens by degrees and in proportion to the effort and care applied. However, when counselling is used effectively, repeatedly it has been shown to have a positive outcome. So what changes might you expect counselling to deliver? Continue reading
The end of a relationship
The end of a relationship is never easy. You can find yourself dealing with an array of difficult emotions. Regardless of how the relationship ended, whether by choice, mutual agreement or choosing to go your separate ways, there are painful emotions that have to be dealt with. Continue reading
Relationship counselling represents for many the last port of call to fix a relationship. The place that you go when all else has failed. Yet often those who have been to relationship counselling talk of it being a positive experience. Even those couples who find it hard to communicate without it becoming a shouting match often find that there is something different about the quality of relationship counselling. The environment allows a calmer form of communication. The counsellor helps them to both hear and be heard. While there are no guarantees in relationship counselling it seems that the success rate is higher than talking it alone. Continue reading
Increasingly couples are seeking relationship counselling. For any couple there are pressures, at the start of the year the Office for National Statistics [ONS] noted a rise in the divorce rate and this may go some way to explaining the additional requirement for relationship counselling. The ONS noted that the economic downturn may have had something to do with the increased divorce rate and while the financial crisis if clearly a pressure for many partners; it cannot explain all of the break ups. Continue reading