The grass they say is always greener on the other side. This saying is well known throughout the world. It states that unspoken idiom that we all see to feel that things would be better; if we were someone else; if we lived somewhere else; if we had made a different decision or even if we had some possession or other. There is a sense in which part of the human condition always seems to be about comparing ourselves to others. She has beautiful hair, much better than mine. If I had a car like that I’d be really happy. Yet is the grass greener?
This seems to have spread in modern life so that we now compare ourselves with unrealistic measures like how many friends we have on Facebook or how many likes we got for our last post. Indeed a few American studies have shown that people feel can feel inadequate if they see others posting more on Facebook and twitter. Yet this seems an unsustainable position, for however hard one tries Facebook only shows part of a person’s world. For example would you broadcast every detail of your life the bits you are embarrassed about the habits you might have or the secrets you might hold. While there may be a few the vast majority of us are very selective of what we show to the world and it tends to be the good bits. With a vastly skewed view perhaps it is unsurprising that we would like to be that person or have that possession.
This self-comparison can be quite unhealthy and can attack our self-esteem always feeling that “if only”. It can also lead to a paralysis where you need to get others opinions before you form your own. You are wearing a dress you really like, then a friend says that the colour isn’t in at the moment so you change it. Are you changing it because of what you think or what the friend said?
You can look after yourself, talk to people who make you feel good, who value you for the person you are, not the person that they expect you to be. Look at what you want from life and be prepared to go with what you want not what others tell you. After all if they are good friends they will stick with you regardless.