Dealing with the end of a relationship
The end of a relationship
The end of a relationship is never easy. You can find yourself dealing with an array of difficult emotions. Regardless of how the relationship ended, whether by choice, mutual agreement or choosing to go your separate ways, there are painful emotions that have to be dealt with.
Why does the end of a relationship hurt?
Often we question why the breakup hurts so much when the relationship itself may have been causing pain. The ending of the relationship represents a big loss. It may have been a significant part of your life or your emotional investment. You may be anxious about the future. These uncertainties can often overwhelm us and even give a rosy tint to a failing relationship.
It’s important to know that an emotional reaction to a break up is normal and there is no right way to respond. You need to listen to what you need to do to get ready to move on.
Part of breaking up is acknowledging that loss of closeness of support of the promise of future plans. The acceptance can be painful, perhaps seemingly too hard to bear. Yet in accepting that you have to let go of these things you are beginning to heal and let yourself move past the relationship. Often people find it helpful to keep a journal or talk this through, with someone they trust or a counsellor. Often going through it, in a methodical way offers a different point of view that helps you start to get to a point where you feel things are improving.
Often there are things that hold us back like reminders of the relationship, or a temptation to phone or try just one last time. While there is no problem with a single memento of a nice time, when taken as a whole lots of keepsakes and re-living memories will anchor you to the relationship and make it harder to move on.
Moving on at the end of a relationship
While it might not be time to start dating, getting out with your friends and those who will support you can make a difference. Being around those that you trust, allows you to feel more normal and get back some fun in your life. In many ways this is the moment to concentrate on yourself and your own care.
Pay attention to what you need and help you by not being overly critical or judgemental. Make time to do thinks that you enjoy and that refresh you. Ultimately if it is still proving difficult to get through the breakup then a counsellor may be able to help you process the feelings.